One of the things coaches least like to do is take stock of how well they are doing in their coaching relationships. The very line of inquiry puts us in a vulnerable position. After all, people would tell us if something was wrong, wouldn’t they? Or we’d sense it, wouldn’t we? Probably best to just continue along a smooth path without throwing potential barriers in our own way.

Yet by having the courage to ask the hard questions—the ones we may not like the answers to—we can model precisely the kinds of qualities we are helping to develop in those we are coaching. Those qualities include courage, resilience, a commitment to doing your best, and a reliance on God for our self-esteem rather than others.

If you’re willing to take the risk, here are some good questions you can ask:

  • What progress have you made through our coaching relationship so far?
  • What am I doing (or not doing) that is helpful to you?
  • What do you wish I would do more often?
  • What changes might be helpful?
  • What direction are you sensing God would have us go next?

Note that none of these questions have pre-conceived answers or lead people toward particular conclusions. The goal is to foster honest communication. To the end, you should take the posture of listening with an open mind to whatever the Spirit might be communicating. The result will be stronger and more effective coaching relationships.

More Coaching Resources

Are you ready to take your coaching to the next level? We recommend the following:

The 360 Online Coaching Assessment– a research-based assessment tool built around nine core coaching competencies. This assessment is a quick and effective way to get accurate feedback on a person’s current level of coaching skills.

Coaching 101– This book will help you discover the power of coaching in your life both as a coach and as someone being coached.

Becoming Barnabas- Understand the potential and cast vision for coaching in your ministry context! By learning about the quiet but tremendous power of Barnabas ministry, you can make a difference for the Kingdom of God.

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