Care deeply and relate personallyWhen I asked my staff for tips to give senior leaders on working with their staff, they came up with five.  Here’s number two: 

Excellent team leaders care deeply about their team members and relate to them personally.

One very easy way to do this is to take one of your team members out for lunch or coffee or breakfast and have no agenda. This is a pattern I used to engage in regularly when I oversaw a formal staff team. I would come in with no agenda and just relate to them as a person. I’d ask open-ended questions: How are you doing? How are your kids? The goal was simply to relate to them and their world on a personal level. They could talk about whatever they wanted to talk about. Some people would go very deep, others preferred just chatting. Open-ended questions would allow them to take the conversation wherever they’d like it to go.

One important point about these conversations: it’s not about what you need as the team leader– it’s about what they need. This can’t be about your need to get deeply personal. It needs to be about their need to feel related to personally and cared for. It also requires that you’ll need to share something about yourself at an appropriate level. Relationships are a two-way street. Consider whether you’re willing to do that.

There is no substitute for time when you’re not pressed. You can’t force relationship, but you can intentionally create space for that to happen at times when you don’t have your supervisor hat on.

Excellent team leaders care deeply about their team members and relate to them personally.

  • demonstrate vulnerability
  • express commitment
  • practice active listening
  • don’t play favorites

Action point:  What is one way you can demonstrate care on a personal level for your team members?