When anger becomes unhealthy

When anger becomes unhealthy

There’s a good chance you are struggling with anger right about now. The state of the world has left people anxious, frustrated, hurt, and scared… all of which seem to birth anger. Even if you aren’t finding yourself short tempered, it is likely that...
Focus your anger

Focus your anger

Those of you who know me know I love biking. Recently I was riding my bike on a nice large street. It wasn’t even crowded. So I was shocked when a pickup truck passed me 25 feet before an intersection and proceeded to turn right directly in front of me. I started...

A weak man

We recently had a breakthrough in the anger management class I teach. A rough guy in the back row spoke up and said, “Yeah, when someone disrespects you, you gotta defend yourself and defend your honor. You can’t help it.”  He sounded confident and tough, even proud,...

Deciding to change

When I was teaching in my anger management recovery group at the Salvation Army, I had a man interrupt me and say, “When someone makes me mad, I tell them off. That’s just the way I am.” I responded, “So what I’m hearing you say is that when you feel angry, you blow...
Lies we believe

Lies we believe

The lies we believe can make us mad. We can take a lie and accept it as the truth. Usually this lie contains part of the truth, but has been distorted in some way. For example, Pastor Steve has had some negative experiences being judged by people in the church in the...
Pride and listening

Pride and listening

Pride is a spiritual disease. Like Adam, in choosing to defy God’s commands, we take control of our own life. Pride is the inner push that prompts us to do this. Once we give in to this self-centered thinking, it becomes part of our personality. A day doesn’t pass...
Dependency and anger

Dependency and anger

Most of us don’t have healthy models of how to deal with anger, and then when it spills out in our churches, ministry teams, and small groups, we wonder why we have troubles. If we are to address issues of anger in our own lives and be equipped to help others in...
Hitting the pause button

Hitting the pause button

You may have heard of the fight or flight response. When we feel threatened, we either flee or we lash out. Fight and flight are two sides of the same coin– anger and fear. But there is a third option: fight, flight, or freeze. Freeze, in this case, means...
Anger and choices

Anger and choices

Once we have learned to recognize and identify the way we personally express our anger, we can learn to distinguish right and wrong ways of managing it. We always have a choice about how we handle it, no matter what the other person is doing. That places the...