I conducted an experiment for one year (although with humans, not guinea pigs). The goal was to not answer people’s questions directly, but to first ask, “What do you think?” I would listen, summarize without evaluating or interpreting. Then I’d invite them to...
A while back I did a blog entry on handling conflict. One comment rightly pointed out that a basic foundation of trust was assumed and suggested I write an entry on how to build trust. I thought that was an excellent suggestion. Here’s my first take on it–...
Consider how much you can help people by guiding them toward discovery of their own solutions as opposed to giving advice. It’s far more empowering for people to discover solutions themselves. So what makes doing that so hard? What blocks us from guiding people toward...
One of the key foundations of coaching is the belief that the person being coached is able to hear from God. The client is able to discern and cooperate with what God is doing– the coach’s role is to help them do that. In taking this approach, coaching honors...
Sometimes we don’t have much warning when we’re heading into a confrontation or difficult conversation. But in other cases, we have a pretty good idea on the front end that things might get challenging. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “I always want to give a good report...
I taught at a Vineyard conference recently and I noticed their practice of looking for multiple confirmations. They’re not looking for just one person to say, “Hey, I think we should do x, y, or z.” They’re looking for multiple indicators pointing in the same...
Why look for the pain? The point of pain is where the power of the gospel is at its strongest. Only when we find the pain (and it IS there) can we move toward healing. Four steps to uncovering the pain: Listen. Prayerfully listen to what people are saying. What are...
My wife, a very wise woman, keeps in mind three important strategies for maintaining long-term success in ministry. These apply no matter what kind of ministry you’re involved in, whether you’re leading a network of churches, organizing a small group service project,...
Too many people go about serving without listening first. They dive in doing what they think needs to be done without really knowing if they’re hitting a point of real need or not and without knowing if what they’re doing is truly effective. As Carl George has said,...
