When you are in the role of a pastor/shepherd, and you see someone off-balance in their life, how directive should you be? This is an issue I am continuing to think through. I’ve realized that as I decide when to step in and when to step back, I’m operating intuitively in this area.
Yet as you know, doing something intuitively doesn’t allow you to pass that skill along to others. So I am trying to think through the rhythms and balances of shepherding responsibilities. As people are learning to walk, how much freedom is good? How much direction is good? What’s the minimum amount of structure they need in order to grow? When do you speak into a person’s life and how?
I invite your thoughts on this topic. What underlying principles do you operate out of when you see someone off-balance in their life?
In general, seek-to-understand conversations are useful for testing the waters when you think you may have to point out a speck in someone’s eye.
Practically, the opener “I’m noticing…” can introduce a concern without accusing.
Excellent question, how involved should a person be in leadership when someone is struggling.
Here are my questions:
1. What are my gifts as a leader is it compassion and encouragement or reproof and challenge, am I operating out of my preferred gifting or does this need some other gift or approach-have I sought council.
2. Am i dealing with someone who can accept correction/encouragement or do they struggle with this. Can they accept it from me or is there a better person.
3. is there some thing else going on in their life that is affecting their judgement, that may be more important for bringing resolution or peace or just enough space to regain perspective.
4. Have I or the organization done this person harm by blessing the leaning and now we need to clean things up and repent.
5. Have I prayed and asked God (this should be #1).