Assertiveness is a philosophy, and a technique, of communication. It involves getting a deeper understanding of just what goes on when we interact with others, particularly when there is an element of conflict present (which covers, of course, most of human experience).
- Feel empowered. They do not feel that they are unjustly controlled by others
- Have an aura of dignity and calmness in their dealing with other people
- Are proactive – that is, they make things happen, and are not reactive, or always waiting to see how they will respond to the words and actions of others
- Know their rights and responsibilities in dealing with others
- Avoid apologetic dialogue or submissive language and tone
- Are able to resist the aggressive, manipulative and passive ploys of other people
A good definition of assertiveness in fact is: “Getting what you want from others without infringing upon the rights of others.”
This Coaching Guide (and Storyboard) will explore the whole subject of assertiveness and see whether this definition is a useful one. The topic is presented in four sequential stages consisting of:
- Prepare or plan your future assertive communication and gather relevant data.
- Organize yourself in terms of how you will deal with others and develop your handling skills.
- Act or target exactly what you want and go for it.
- Review your success in being more assertive and adjustor improve the next time.
Other helpful resources in this area include the Assertiveness Skill Builder Booklet.