Why is it so rare for a church to say, “We didn’t handle X well. We’re going to do it differently now.” It’s almost like we think our repentance discredits God in some way. On the contrary, it’s when churches won’t repent that the most damage is done.
“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (James 4:6b) Humility means admitting it when we are wrong and acknowledging the areas where we fall short. Not only do individuals need to repent—often and regularly—but so do whole congregations.
3 ways to lead in repentance
1. Model repentance
Think of a time you’ve been wrong or done something wrong (you shouldn’t have to think too hard), and then just say it out loud. Be honest about what’s going on. The more you do it, the easier it will get. You’ll find you start saying it more in the moment. Or even proactive: “I could be wrong, but here’s what I’m thinking….”
2. Make peace
There is a distinction between making peace and just keeping the peace. Keeping the peace can look like humility because it’s smooth—it’s just about not rocking the boat and trying to keep everyone happy. But making peace requires a different approach all together. It means addressing the problem head on, identifying it, acknowledging shortcomings, and deciding how to handle the issue going forward. Making peace gets to the roots of the issue. Real repentance brings real peace.
3. Create a safe space
Regularly do corporate readings of confession and prayers of confession in the service. Talk freely with others in the church about organizational shortcomings. These things get people ready for corporate repentance, normalize it, and most importantly create a space where people feel safe to repent. Then you can have a service dedicated to repentance, to humility and to surrender. It’s a good idea for every church to do this periodically, even if there is no very obvious sin that people are aware of. Because a humility check is always a good thing.
Resources
Conflict Resolution Skills Builder- Conflict in itself is not problematic. However it can be destructive if it isn’t successfully channelled and resolved. If handled properly, conflict can highlight problems that need to be rectified, lead to new ideas and behavior, enhance communication and foster better long-term relationships between individuals and groups. This Skill Builder looks at how you can strengthen your conflict resolution skills.
Making Peace*- This is an excellent resources for when inner-church conflict has a grip on the church. Reconciliation within the body, however, will not happen with the right “method” or “set of principles”. In Making Peace, readers are challenged to place their church and all of its dissension under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
Photo by cottonbro studio
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